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Faux News is Good News: Shocking Revelation from Controversial Religious Organization Originally published on MaceandCrown.com On Wednesday, during a press conference at their headquarters in Topeka KS., the Westboro Baptist Church revealed to thousands of onlookers that they had never actually been, a religious organization. “When we first stepped into public view we had an idea of the message we wanted to get across, but it appears that our ideals have been misconstrued by the media and others who have made it abundantly clear that they disagree with what we evidentially stand for.”, said Vernon Hel, representative for organization and leader for a majority of their demonstrations. “That is why we’re going to return to our origins as an experimental performance art group.” Naturally this revelation was met with some trepidation and concerned looks from the crowd. Some of the onlookers, mostly those who sided with their implied ideology, were angry about having ...

Faux News is Good News: Fort Knox Houses New Backing of US Dollar Originially Published on Maceandcrown.com Over the past decade many Americans have grown wary of the stability of the US economy. After the depression caused by 2007’s housing crisis many Americans have had to live in the aftermath of the of the recession and struggle to make ends meet. For years most Americans have grown distrustful with the federal government and the treasury’s ability to maintain the US economic standard and many think that may never be possible ever since the US completely abandoned the gold standard in 1971. However, Fort Knox recently opened their doors to a select group of reporters to assure the American public that their financial future is well secured. Fort Knox has long been rumored to be the holding place of America’s gold supply. These rumors are well fortified in popular culture by films such as “Goldfinger” and the cult classic “Laurel and Hardy Meet the Military Police....

Virginia To Ban Fidget Spinning Indoors By: Rodney Icle Last Thursday, Virginia Governor, Terry McAuliff, issued a statement regarding the future of one of America's most popular vices; fidget spinning. "The danger it poses to non-spinners is too great to fathom." He was referring to the document published by the Center for Disease Control in the week prior. The CDC claimed that spinning had been too new of a concept to determine any long lasting effects Recently however, more and more people have been admitted to the hospital in fidget related incidences. Some were missing fingers, others were deemed too hip to be left on life support, and others still were afflicted with early, onset, arthritis in their index and middle fingers. These reports only included spinner related incidents, and did not include the multitude of other afflictions caused by other fidget devices. From fidget cubes lodged in odd places, to squeezable stress dolls needing corrective eye ...